Q: What is the optimal number of photos I should use in my online dating profile?
A: Definitely at least 3-4 photos but no more than 6. Typically, the more photos you post the more harshly you will be judged i.e. you are only as good looking as your worst photo.
Q: Should I look away and not smile in my photos like those articles say to do?
A: No! While those photos might solicit likes, they don't necessarily result in quality dates. Be yourself, be candid. Smile naturally, don't force it. Look at the camera, look interested not self-absorbed nor shy. Read this for additional insight. For advice on photos, check out this photo intro.
BIO / ABOUT ME SECTION
Q: Should I use a ghostwriter to write my bio and send messages to matches for me?
A: No! I provide clients guidelines on what to focus on in their bios but I do not write bios myself. Character and personality will be lost in translation if you hire someone to do this. Secondly, you deprive yourself of the chance to experience the exploration of getting to know someone through those messages. Read this article on what to expect from such a service.
Q: I feel and look younger than my age - is it ok to shave off a few years from my actual age?
A: No! Being truthful is important in online dating. If you lie about age right off the bat, what else might you be lying about?
Q: What should I write in the bio section of my online dating profile?
A: Talk about your passions, quirks, random obsessions, guilty pleasures, where you were born and raised, what you like to do for fun, what you do for a living, where did you travel last.
Q: What are the demographics for each online dating site and app?
A: There is no definitive answer on this but a couple surveys are about right highlighting age and gender splits: SurveyMonkey Intelligence 2016 and Bustle study 2016 andmy Match.com gender ratios
MATCHING & MESSAGING ETIQUETTE
Q: When is the best time to go online? How often should I be swiping?
A: Typically ~8pm-11pm during the week (Sunday-Thursday). Limit logging on to ~2-3x a week. Avoid logging on Friday evenings through Sunday afternoons - take time off to enjoy the weekend.
Q: Is there such a thing as being overly eager and aggressive when it comes to messaging and swiping?
A: Yes, you should express excitement but avoid appearing obsessively eager. Be direct, timely and transparent. Do not reply immediately every time the other person initiates contact but also do not make the person wait. Respond 1-3 days after matching and reply back within 24 hours for subsequent messages. It is bad etiquette to swipe right on someone you are not interested in.
OTHER RESOURCES / TERMINOLOGY
Q: What are some podcasts, books and other resources I should check out?
A: Read Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari; Maureen O'Connor (New York Magazine's Sex Lives Podcast); and read my tips on my Medium page and Good Men Project author page. Also check out PhotoFeeler (a free crowd-sourced photo review platform with helpful articles).
Q: How can I tell if a user is a scammer or if a profile is fake?
A: There is no certain way to tell but Bumble is the best app for verifying users. There are several ways to investigate a profile/account which I reveal to clients directly as to not alert creepy and skeevy guy.
Q: What is hatfishing?
A: It is when a guy purposely wears hats to conceal baldness. Guys should embrace their new look because 1) women do not want to play a guessing game; 2) could be a sign for lack of confidence; 3) could be hiding other things in his life. Other terms to know and be slightly disgusted by.
Lastly, online dating apps are meant to introduce people - you don't date online. Exchange a few messages and then take things offline. Dating apps are not a platform where you share every detail of your life nor should you pin all your hopes on one person (too much pressure to put on one person). Check out the Singles In America annual survey by Match.com's Chief Scientific Officer. Read this article Tinder Tips on Man Peller by Slutever's Karley Sciortino.
Contact me with how I can help you with your online dating profile.